Idle State

Online SCRABBLE® is the greatest thing since the internet, dishwashers, Sudoku, automatic garage doors and Pianolas*. (These are all fantastic ways to be idle or ways to save time so that you have more time to be idle).

Benefits of idly playing SCRABBLE® are:

• Increase your word power
  
• Increase your friend's word power
  
• Thrash the pants of someone with a poor vocabulary
  
• Learn the meaning of the word Qi
  

If you play SCRABBLE®, you should aim to get more than 300 in any game - especially if you play me. Less than that, let's face it, is downright embarrassing. (English not your first language, then?)

Speaking of which, you can now play SCRABBLE® في العربية (in Arabic) which has 104 undecipherable tiles. It seems it would be quite hard to play, since none of the letters would actually join up to the other letters. And I don't read or write Arabic. ("For the last time, Mīm - Bā- Bā - Wāw - Alif does not mean anything!?!")

The benefit of playing online is that you can, of course, be in different countries and different timezones. [You don't have to be in different countries: for instance, you may wish to play online with someone who lives in the same house if they were ugly and you don't want to look at them]. What's more, it keeps you up to date with your friend's comings and goings. It's a dead giveaway that your friend has been out all night drinking because at 5 am their time they take their turn and try to spell "TROLLEYED" with one L, no Y and a P.

I regularly play several games online at http://thepixiepit.co.uk/scrabble/ and it's a perfect way to idly use up a hour or so each day. At US $10 per year it's an absolute bargain and the administrator is always really helpful if you run into problems. (Unfortunately, not problems like "what can I do with VVWIIIO?") You can also send little notes to the other players when you make a play (eg "Did you turn the gas off?", "Hi Mum, I'm still alive. Can you pay my parking fines for me?" or "I hate you and every thing you stand for and for taking that triple word score.")

Unfortunately, kwyjibo** isn't in any of the official SCRABBLE® dictionaries yet - but apparently is allowed if you play The Simpsons' version of the game. Can't wait for the online version of that!

Back to the beach.

* Pianola (aka Player Piano). For those born after 1980, you can find out more here. The pianola was superceded by the iPod.

** See "Bart The Genius". See The Simpsons Episode 7G02